New Horizons

Twenty years ago I found my faith in God. I attended a 3 day retreat for teenagers and young adults called Chrysalis. It was a weekend of talks, discussions, praise and worship. It was here, surrounded by many friends, both new and old, that I found Christ and began my journey as a Christian. After that weekend I became rather involved in my church as well as both the Chrysalis and Emmaus communities. I sat on the board of the Chrysalis community for a good 3 years. During this time I was able to help prepare for each Chrysalis weekend, and I even was selected to be a team member on one of those weekends. It was also as a team member that I was further selected to deliver one of the talks. So, there I was, still relatively green as a Christian standing in front of over 40 people and delivering a speech. Not just any speech mind you, but one of only 2 out of 15 delivered over the 3 day period that had a Q & A session afterwards. It was a real test for me and one that while I thought it was delivered poorly at best; I did get a lot of positive feedback from those that were going through the weekend.
12 months later and things started to wane. I became involved with a girl who would lead me away from my walk with Christ and enter into a 10 year relationship that saw me the subject of her abuse, humiliation and her mind games. During this time I also enlisted into the Australian Regular Army, something that I had wanted to do ever since I was a child. Even though it was in a job that I loved, my relationship with Christ began to suffer as my relationship with this girl started to go sour. My self-esteem by the time I left the Army was non-existent and, sadly, so was my faith.
After going through a messy break up I moved back home with my parents. It was there that I began to heal both mentally and physically. I started to see a psychologist to help me through my depression, I found some full time work but most of all I met some one that was able to complete my soul and, unbeknownst to me at the time, to help me heal spiritually and to come back to the path that God had set before me all those years ago.  Sharon has been my great healer. If I hadn’t met her I don’t know what sort of person I would be like right now
Why am I telling you all of this I hear you ask? Well, I feel that some backstory was needed. You see, I had an epiphany of sorts. I have been getting a sense over the last few weeks as to how the Lord has been moving in my life. He never abandoned me I realised, even though for a time there I turned and walked away from him. I could see how over the last few years that He has been gently guiding me through others to where He wants me to be. Then 2 weeks ago, I really felt his presence in my life.
It started when Sharon and I found out that at 8 weeks and 1 day we had lost our baby. It was as if our world had tipped on its side. On the Saturday I was sitting in the lounge room by myself, alone with my thoughts. I was fighting back the tears when I felt a feeling of being unburdened.  My grief was still there but there was a calm that was placed on my heart. I knew that the Lord was working in me. He was giving me the strength I needed to help my family get through the grief and loss of the baby as well.
Since that time over the last few weeks I have felt a calling placed in my heart. What it is I don’t yet know. I do know that it is part of the plan that God has for me and that I will be taking on a more active role in spreading God’s word. I do know the first step towards what God has planned for me is though. That is I will no longer hide my faith from others. For over 10 years I had hidden my faith from others, putting it aside like an old memory. I guess that is why I have so many old memories of my time and involvement in the Chrysalis and Emmaus movements. Perhaps that is the role I am to play, to become involved in them once more. Or maybe it’s to assist with the youth. Perhaps I’m to take on a more active role within our church. I’ll be honest with you, whatever it is that He has in store for me, has me both scared and excited at the same time.

More to follow…