The Black Dog

It has been a while since I have sat down to write my thoughts here on my blog. Honestly, I couldn't tell you the timeframe on that. There are only a few things that I can give definite timeframes on: Molly is 18 months old, I get married in a week and a half, and I have officially been unemployed for 7 and a half months. Molly is my greatest treasure, and watching her learn and grow gives me hours of joy. She also frustrates the hell out of me but that is outweighed by her joyful, playful and inquisitive nature. The wedding is fast approaching, and with everything being finalized I am looking forward to marrying the woman I love, the one that I have waited almost 20 years for, with a great deal of anticipation and just a few growing nerves. Then there's Maddi. While she has a tendency to be a surly teenager at times and is starting to push a few boundaries, I couldn't be more proud of her. She entered junior Miss Showgirl at this years annual show, she performed in a performance at church, her group learning four dance routines, one song and a skit in five days. And at scouts she is doing really well having almost achieved her Pioneer level. Sharon and I are so proud of her and everything that she had accomplished this year.

With all that happiness and positive influence in my life, why am I not happy??

As I have mentioned, I have been out of work for around 7 and a half months. At first it was great spending more time at home with Sharon and the girls, helping out more around the house while looking for work and even reskilling. After a while, as the months went on, depression started to creep in. Ever so slightly, I didn't noticed at first. Then finally, today, I had to admit it to myself. I'm suffering from depression.

You see, I'm the sort of person that has to work. If I'm not out working and earning money, then I feel like I'm not pulling my own weight, that I'm not contributing to the household or to my family's financial security. I have applied for around 60 jobs by my count. Probably about just over a 6th of those I have had a face to face interview with. But nearly in all instances, I get the same knock back. "Thank you for you application but unfortunately we had to give the position to someone more qualified." That's if I even get a response. It's so disheartening to put yourself out there like that only to be set up for disappointment. I have only had one person call me up to tell me personally that I didn't get the job and he told me why I. When I asked him for feedback he was more than happy to give me so advice on how to market myself in the future.

Even when I apply for a traineeship, and express my willingness to accept trainee wages and that I am keen and willing to learn from them the either hire someone that is younger or they give the position to someone with more experience, which to me defeats the purpose of advertising a traineeship.

After a while the rejection and the silence starts to grind a person down. Feelings of inadequacy and failure start to creep in to you every thought. I guess it's why it's called Black Dog. Darkness starts to hound your thoughts, gnawing at your soul like a dog gnawing in a bone until even getting out of bed seems like a chore.

I am lucky, for one I have been here before and I can recognize the signs, but mostly I have three bright stars in my night to hold back the darkness - Sharon, Maddi and Molly. My three girls give me the strength to fight back. Small steps though. Firstly, I'm going to stop looking for work until after we return from the honeymoon and concentrate on getting ready for the wedding. Secondly, get some exercise. It's well known that exercise releases endorphins in the brain to help combat depression. And thirdly, I have to remember to take a little time each day for myself. With all that in mind, we will see what happens in four weeks time.

More to follow...

The Dragon Chinese Restaurant

With Molly at her grandparents for the night, Sharon and I decided that we should take Maddi out for dinner as it had been a while since Maddi had come out with us. As such we decided that this months restaurant pick is the Dragon Chinese Restaurant. The Dragon, quite frankly, is a piece of Coffs Harbour dining history. The Dragon originally opened back in 1975, the year after I was born. That's 37 years that the Dragon has been operating, how many resaurants can proudly boast that. That being said, the original owners sold the Dragon last year and it's doors were closed for 6 months for renovation. That being said, the new owners, Kim and Tony, didn't change the basic style of the restaurant. The dining and bar area remain the same, right down to the colour. The fact that Kim and Tony chose to keep the Dragon as much to it's original design was a great decision. It retains all of it's warm, family oriented atmosphere, which I had missed in the 20 odd years since I last dined at the Dragon. I kid you not, it has been that long. The Dragon is located on the corner the Pacific Highway and Coff St, Coffs Harbour NSW 2450. 

We started the evening off with an entree. Sharon had the mixed entree with sweet and sour sauce, while Maddi and I had a short soup each. The soup was nice, the wantons were house made, and not the store bought frozen kind. Sharon enjoyed the mixed entree, although she gave Maddi and I a curry puff each as she isn't a fan of curry puffs. 

For our main meal we ordered Beef with Cashew Nuts, Braised Chicken with Black Pepper, Boneless Lemon Chicken and a large Special Fried Rice. What can I say about these dishes, they were all amazing.

The Lemon Chicken was tender and the lemon sauce was delicious. The lemon flavour was tangy but not overpowering with just a little sweetness to take the edge of the lemons bitterness. 

The Beef and Cashew Nuts was very full of flavour. The beef was tender and practically melted in your mouth. The vegetables were firm and the sauce had the slightest of creamy texture. All of this was counterpointed by the crunch of the cashew nuts. 

And lastly, but certainly not least was the Braised Chicken and Black Pepper. This was my favourite. Tender and juicy pieces of braised chicken stirfried with asian vegetables with a delicious creamy cracked pepper sauce. There was a definite spicyness to this dish, you could certainly taste the pepper, in fact you could see it too. The pepper wasn't overpowering though, as you could still taste the flavours of the chicken and the vegetables. It had certainly become my new favourite dish. 

On the whole we were very pleased with the night. So much so that we have booked our wedding rehearsal dinner there for the 2nd of November, just under 3 weeks away. The dining area is of a fair size and on the southern side is a raised dining area that gives those dining up there a little intimacy. The Dragon is also fully licenced and there is also a little bar area near the front of the restaurant with tables and seating for a quiet drink. High chairs are available for those with infants and toddlers. I have known Kim and Tony personally for several years from there other restaurant, The Manor in Bellingen, and they offer not only great food but great service as well. Their staff are warm and friendly and do what they can to make sure that you have the best and most enjoyable dining experience. If you ever get the chance to go to the Dragon, tell Kim and Tony that I sent you. 

Our rating: 5 out of 5 stars - honestly we really couldn't fault this one.